Thursday, July, 31, 08

this is it

Filed under: a moment in my head — theradishpress @ 10:33 am

by theradishpress

i stop checking after some time

things remain constant and smooth

or constant and not smooth, little hills to walk up, big ones to fall down

but constant


and when there is change all that can be done is quiet

quiet reaction action steps


this momentary obstruction of what is familiar

perhaps it becomes familiar

perhaps i am done with familiar

this is my being ready and my being new and my reclamation

self voice body mind soul

things that once were hurtful are no longer

things that once were maddening remain so

things that once were tearful cannot be

consistency is over

Wednesday, July, 16, 08

Quote of the Day

Filed under: quote of the day — theradishpress @ 10:42 am
Tags: , , ,

by theradishpress

Homophobia’s not like Creed, something you can just drop the instant you realize it sucks.

-Troy Johnson “Mommy’s Little Monster” in Spin

Monday, July, 14, 08

Dear New York

Filed under: letters to emily — theradishpress @ 3:59 pm

by theradishpress

Dear New York,

I know what you are trying to do. You don’t know me well.


Wednesday, July, 9, 08

Dear John Malkovich

by theradishpress

Note: I had first intended my “letters to emily” category to be a moment of reflection on the works of Emily Dickinson. After my letter to the cats, and feeling kind of inspired by Henry Rollins (I know!), I decided to make it more of an open letter to different people, places, things…

So, on to the letter.

Dear John Malkovich,

No. I realize that too many of us have left you with the impression that you are a stellar actor, but it is time that I speak up. I will give you Empire of the Sun, but let’s not kid ourselves, Christian Bale stole that film and made it amazing. And I like Being John Malkovich because it is completely absurd, makes fun of my home New Jersey, and who the hell would ever want to be you anyway? (Again, that’s why it’s funny). Let’s look at some other roles that have generally won you praise: Of Mice and Men. Personally, I get kind of annoyed when some actor is told they play retarded well. I like Sean Penn, but really? Is he really that memorable for I Am Sam? What about The Assassination of Richard Nixon? What about his directing? And I love What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, but not because of Leonardo DiCaprio. I mean, he is good in it, but there’s also the story that kinda carries the whole film, not to mention Johnny Depp.

Okay, you may also deserve some credit for In The Line of Fire. But you did play a psycho in that. And in Con-Air. You seem well-suited for those roles. That odd shaped head, somewhat sweet and thick voice with a hint of a high-pitch. Again, though, for Con-Air at least, someone else stole the show. In this case it was Steve Buscemi. The man played with Barbie dolls and talked about wearing a human head as a hat. And he wins the prize when it comes to funny looking. The Coen Brothers went with that.

Let me get to what prompted this letter in the first place: Knockaround Guys. Here is a movie, pretty bad mind you, about a group of mob kid friends who decide they want to join the family business. You, as you may or may not know, play the uncle of the main kid, played by Barry Pepper. To hear you attempt a Brooklyn accent and end up sounding like some kid whose just watched A Bronx Tale and is trying really hard to imitate what they assume to be the accent of everyone in this city, is beyond sad. Please, just…no. I have an idea, why not do what you have done in other movies that require an accent, don’t do it. In The Messenger you kept your same old John Malkovich voice, despite the efforts of others to sound French. (Vincent Cassel is French, so don’t even start the comparisons there). Even in Eragon, which I am admitting to seeing, despite the fact that it is one of the worst movies ever, you did not feel the need to use any accent. Then again, you really did not feel the need to act either. Did you know right away that you were going to treat that performance like practice for other crap roles? Did you just see it as some extra cash? Or were you fooled into thinking it would be good like those of us who shelled out $10 because, like us, you saw Rachel Weisz and Jeremy Irons in the cast and thought “hey, there is no way this can suck!” ? Is that what happened, John? You can be honest. You should know that a good cast does not mean a good film. The Messenger is a great example of that. And you should know that just because everyone says it is good, does not mean it is good. Gone Baby Gone, hello! That movie was a waste of my life. And I cannot get that time back.

Here’s the thing, you are in some post-productions that I want to see, and I will see them. But I need you to know that my attending Burn After Reading has nothing to do with you, and everything to do with The Coen Brothers. And when I buy my ticket for The Mutant Chronicles it is because the futuristic movie is about a guy who fights NecroMutants.



Filed under: a moment in my head — theradishpress @ 10:16 am

by theradishpress

I need to take a moment

or two

or 3

and step far far back

from everything.


I need to stop.

Thursday, July, 3, 08

11. Party Girl

Yes, I have seen it. And when I read the title on my list just now I knew Parker Posey was in it, but not sure it was the same Parker Posey movie I had seen. IMDb confirmed that it is. I guess it’s not that memorable. I remember liking it enough. It was funny, cute, and maybe now that I live in NY and went through my own struggle trying to find a job, I would appreciate it even more. Though, I definitely do not spend my money on fashionable clothes or parties. I did just find out that Eddie Vedder is doing a solo tour and I want to purchase tickets for that. That is where my money goes….music, and movies. Anyway, the one thing I remember most about this movie is the Middle Eastern guy in it, played by Omar Townsend. This is his only movie, sadly, ‘cause he is gorgeous. I doubt I will see this again. I know, I know, Ade, it’s like one of your favouritest movies ever. I borrowed it from Ade about two years ago. I think she owns it on VHS. Ade, if you read this, speaking of borrowing movies, you still have Dazed and Confused and What’s Eating Gilbert Grape. The former, is more whatever, but I have been craving the latter. I suppose I could netflix it.

Wednesday, July, 2, 08

I am not sleeping in white girls’ room either -Raul

Filed under: a moment in my head,what do i know — theradishpress @ 10:49 am

So, it hit me even more this weekend how much my social anxiety has kept me from doing things. I have been making an effort, a small one, but never the less an effort to go out and do things, and I knew that what was preventing me from meeting people and from getting out was my social anxiety…and still is, let’s be honest, it’s not as if it disappears over night. But this weekend, when 6 of my friends were up, and one day before 2 other friends were up, I realized that for most activities I have been relying on people visiting me or my own visits back home. I have successfully avoided parties, movies, lunches, dinners, dances, etc and managed to not feel completely isolated because I have gone home enough and had enough visitors to keep myself occupied. Not to mention, I have learned over the years to interpret my anxiety as a dislike for people, in addition to an already existing dislike. I have used it as an excuse to not do things.

But I want to break out of that. There is so much to see and so much to do and there are cool people out there. I have met some truly genuine human beings here in NY, LC specifically comes to mind, and some really amazing, some really fun and funny, some really generous, some really open people.

I had a great weekend. And at the end it was sort of bittersweet when my new realization hit. Not only was it already sad to see everyone off and to have to return to a world completely different from the one we occupied for a few days, but to figure out one more piece of what I have used as an excuse to not get to know anyone new. I have managed for – 2 weeks shy of a year now – to keep a safe distance from all but one person in this city. And this is how I have gone through most of my life. On the one hand I am completely fine with it. I don’t need quantity, rather quality. On the other hand, I am fully aware that Will Hunting my way through life can’t last forever. It won’t.

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